Redneck Jellyfish

Here is song #21 for November 21, inspired by a phrase Don uses for all those wimpy songs on country radio where men act like they will die without the woman’s love. This “love-me-or-I’ll-die” tradition goes way back, at least into medieval poetry, but Don thinks it has outlived its usefulness in the post-modern age.

REDNECK JELLYFISH
by Pam Bowen

Verse 1:
Broken-hearted ballads may be your favorite, boy
But girls today don’t fall for that old ploy.
Maybe you ain’t too proud to wallow in the dust,
But trust me, that don’t impress girls much.

CHORUS:
STOP WHININ’, STOP CRYIN’, AND SLINKIN’ ON YOUR BELLY.
GROW YOURSELF A BACKBONE, YOU BLOB OF JELLY.
PUT SOME IRON IN YOUR RED CORPUSCLES:
WOMEN LIKE THEIR MEN WITH MUSCLES.

Verse 2:
Here’s the stuff I hear you say, tryin’ to drive the girls away:
You’ll simply go insane, you won’t last another day,
You can’t live without her, gotta drown your sorrows,
Facing a string of black tomorrows.

CHORUS

Bridge:
Making the women feel empowered,
You make yourself look like a coward.

CHORUS

© Pamella M. Bowen